Apr 6, 2002
Making Room for Daddy, and a Job

MARK FASCIANO is the chief executive of a growing software company. He has a 2-year-old daughter and a second child on the way. He is determined, though, not to let his career prevent him from participating in the life of his young family.

"I have hired some guys who are older, in their 50's," he said. "They look back and really regret that they missed out on their children for 10 years. It's like they're slapping their heads: 'Ugh, I forgot my kids!' " So Mr. Fasciano, 34, who runs the Fatwire Software Corporation in Mineola, N.Y., lives near the office, in order to keep down his commuting time. He religiously sets aside family time on the weekends and plans a weekly "date" with his wife, Marisa, who is pursuing a degree in social work. "I'm trying not to slap my forehead in a dozen years, not to make that mistake," he said.

Mr. Fasciano is already ahead of the curve. A study published in the April-May issue of the Academy of Management Journal observed that women of all ages reported that their career satisfaction was negatively affected by work-family conflicts but that men usually did not show signs of such strain until later in their careers, when they were 40 and older.

In the study, researchers at the University of Connecticut in Storrs, Conn., surveyed 975 managerial and professional workers in more than 100 companies. They found that women 39 and under were far more likely than their male peers to feel dissatisfied in their careers because of work-and-home conflicts. Such conflicts led to diminished career satisfaction for both men and woman above the age of 40.

"What happens early on is that, traditionally, men deal with work-family conflict by trading off -- they can focus on their family or their work," said Luis L. Martins, an assistant professor at the University of Connecticut School of Business and an author of the study. "Women tend to be more integrated. They think of themselves as defined by both most strongly."

When men become older, and their career trajectories start to plateau, Mr. Martins said, "they probably figure out that there's more to life than work."

The negative effects of work-family conflict were no stronger for married workers than for single people, regardless of age or sex, the study found. As a result, researchers concluded that the ability to manage work-and-family conflicts had much to do with the level of support provided by a spouse or others outside the office.

Even people who can afford outside help did not escape the impact of competing work and family demands on job satisfaction, according to the study.

"The expectation is that if you have financial resources, you can hire help and that will make it easier to balance conflicting demands of work and home," Mr. Martins said. "But our suspicion is that it has more to do with the emotional strain of being away from the kids. If you have a nanny, it doesn't take away from the general stress."

In the last two decades, experts in workplace issues say, men of all ages have been increasing the time they spend with their children. "I hear from men that they don't want to be a stick figure in their children's lives," said Ellen Galinsky, president of the Families and Work Institute in New York. Still, she said, the job of caring for the children rests mainly with women.

IF mid- and late-career men continue to reach epiphanies about wanting to better balance their work and home life, as the Academy of Management Journal study suggests, the workplace effects could be far-reaching, said Sandra Turner, who leads the work-life committee of the Employee Assistance Professionals Association. She is also the director of the employee assistance program at Ernst & Young, the accounting firm.

"If these men are in positions of leadership and responsibility, then they can certainly make a difference for younger men and women in terms of work-and-family balance," Ms. Turner said. "That personal 'aha!' can be very positive."

But not everyone sees this as a trend. Ann Clark, a marriage and family therapist who runs an employee assistance company in San Diego, said she did not think that men were coming around to the joys of family life on their own.

"Men are not as active in the early years of child care as women are, and so the women get burned out pretty quickly," she said. "Then they start to become more demanding of their husbands. Clinically, I don't see men feeling the work-family conflicts until the wife begins to make it an issue." http://www.nytimes.com

Publication: The New York Times